Eat Until You’re Sick

I find one of the hardest things now that I can visit with my husband is the driving. I drive, probably a total of 10-12 hours a weekend on the ones hubby comes home. It takes between 2.5-3 hours each way. The worst part is that it’s over the meal time. It’s not so bad on the days I stay there as I get there between 530-6pm, but on the days hubby is coming home, we just want to get home we might stop for a bathroom break but never long enough to sit and eat – and driving and eating simply doesn’t happen.

This past weekend I did my best to get out of that routine – I grabbed my husband and I a protein bar and a cold drink so at least we’d have something. Unfortunately, half way through the drive to get him, he text me to let me know one of the other recruits was getting a ride to Ottawa with him. Of course I don’t mind – we’re doing the drive anyhow and we dropped her off at a place just off the actual route, so it really wasn’t out of our way. The problem is, I didn’t want to be rude. We had our drinks but I kept the protein bars in my purse until after we dropped her off.

The problem was when I took them back on the Sunday. We had an early lunch because we left right at noon and I was still a little full from breakfast. After 3 hours and dropping them off, I was starving. Unfortunately, when on the move, finding healthful foods in a gas station is challenging.

I now understand why my dad had weight issues when he was working.

On the drive back, I stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break (that’s what happens with 3 cups of coffee in the morning and a 1L bottle of water on the drive there) and as I was hungry, I grabbed a bag of chips (baked chips as I was trying to be healthier) and a bag of candy (so much for the baked chips!) The worst part was that I really wasn’t that far from home – maybe 60-75 minutes. When I got close to home, I knew I’d need something more substantial but I wasn’t prepared to go grocery shopping so I stopped by the A&W for a Beyond Meat burger.

The worst part was that I wasn’t really hungry – but I knew I’d be hungry later. So instead of addressing that hunger when I was actually hungry, I decided to eat when I wasn’t and WOW did I feel horrible for it! Getting sick would have been “easier”, or at least would have made me feel better… after. Thankfully my body won’t actually get sick unless I’m actually sick – which is probably why I never became bulimic.

So instead, I had a miserable evening and felt like trash all night. And even today I had the GI repercussions that tend to follow a diet debacle.

Recovering from an eating disorder / disordered eating, sometimes these slip-ups are good.

How do I figure?

After eating healthy for a while – or if you’re just starting out – it’s easy to think that it’s really not doing anything beneficial. Maybe all this planning and cooking and spending more money on healthier foods really isn’t worth the bother. Do I really need to plan all this out? How much time am I wasting doing this?

Well, I wasted a whole evening on the couch moaning and groaning about how sick I felt.

Eating like shit and feeling so shitty was a good reminder what foods make me feel good and what foods make me feel like shit. Yes, it takes more planning to make sure there’s enough snacks and meals to get through the week, but what’s the alternative? Not planning enough and eating shit and feeling like shit? When I did my grocery shopping this morning, the last thing I wanted to do was buy crap. I made sure I had stuff for my breakfasts, morning and afternoon snacks, and lunches.

I certainly don’t recommend eating until you’re sick, but instead of beating yourself up about it happening, take the lesson from it.

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