Life Owes You Nothing

“Don’t expect to get out of life what you’re not already putting into it”

This was said during a yoga class the other day and I held onto what the instructor said all week. It was amazing. It was at the end of a grueling yoga class as we were doing a couple of moves – one move I can’t really describe, but the second was basically a seated cat/cow move to the beat of techno music – I wanted to cry! The whole class was to techno – it was energized, challenging and awesome! I couldn’t do all of it, but I was able to do more than I was expecting.

But that quote really struck a  chord with me.

This goes back to my post, “Be the Action”, but also more…

Because this is true… why should life give you something you’re not actively working towards? I mean, think about it… how ludicrous is it expecting something for nothing? Especially now-a-days – everything comes at a cost! Want to run a 10K/half marathon/marathon? Then get off the couch! Want to be a published author? Then write the book! Want to win the lottery? Then buy a bloody ticket!

The thing is, life owes you NOTHING. It really doesn’t. If you give and give and give but feel you have nothing in return, then ask yourself what your intentions are. Maybe you’re putting your energy into something that’s not meant to be. Yes, you have to fight for what you want – but if you’re fighting tooth and nail until you’re bloody, bruised and worn down to a shell of yourself… then you have to ask yourself why?

That’s one reason that I stopped competing in physique competitions. I had to fight tooth and nail against everything in my DNA. I am not meant to maintain a “physique ready” body! Most competitors try to maintain an “off season” weight of 10 lbs above competition weight. Like, seriously? My competition weight was around 120-125 lbs I would never be able to maintain 130-135 lbs without very drastic measures… if I could, don’t you think I’d already be there? 150 lbs is a good number, but even then, that might be pushing it! At the moment, I’m aiming for 175 lbs, which I feel would be a healthy and easily maintainable weight.

But first? I need to deal with the internal shit and put in the work! I’m not going to “lose weight” by wishing it; I’m not going to “get healthy” by eating junk! “Garbage in, garbage out”! Right now, I’m not putting in the work. I’m not going to the gym as much as I want to and I’m not eating as healthy as I need (or want) to! BUT, I’m working on things internally. I need to be okay with no perceived outside work – but just because I’m not physically going to the gym and I’m still struggling with how I’m eating, it doesn’t mean I’m not working on internal issues!

And I need to be okay with this – which I am!!!

The biggest thing that I’m learning right now is to be okay with “inaction”. It’s about not being verbally abusive to myself when I can’t get to the gym or when I eat junk food; that working on internal issues is just as – if not more – important as physical movement. Dealing with binge eating, food abuse, and food dependency.

Sometimes the biggest battles are the ones no one will ever witness or realize.

You need to be okay with this perceived lack of action; because it’s only perceived from everyone on the outside. They should have no say in what or how you’re healing. Putting work into your life isn’t just about networking and conferences and miles ran and classes attended. Ditch the “Instagram worthy” life mentality! You have NO idea what those “influences” are dealing with on the other side of their posts because they only show what they want you to see. Don’t fall into that trap of comparison! You don’t know what they’ve gone through – and still going through! And it may not even occur to them that what they choose to show is actually doing harm to their followers!

BE REAL! If you’re struggling, then say it! People need to hear it and it has to be stopped being seen as taboo!!! You will be amazed how many people who you can connect with who feel the same! Admitting you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re weak – it means you’re human!

I go through phases all the time! I can be on point in all aspects of my life! I can be hitting the gym, going to yoga, eating healthy, and joyous in general… and then I can be completely in the shitter. Eat a whole box of TimBits, haven’t been to the gym in a couple of weeks, been to yoga sporadically, and the most cardio I’ve done is walking to and from the bus stops!

But there’s times, which I’m in right now: I want to go to the gym, but have only been able to make it a couple of times a week. I eat healthy… most of the time. I go to yoga regularly, and I get in a run every now and then… BUT, I’m working on myself internally. I’m trying to work with and heal that inner child. I’m trying to work internally to answer the “why” of why I do some of the things I do because I know that life will only respond to my actions when all areas are moving harmoniously together – and right now they’re not.

But they are, slowly. The longer I listen to my intuition, the more I’m able to answer my biggest questions: why do I do the things I do? Mostly around binge eating. The “not going to the gym” is the fact that I’ve gotten out of the habit of going – and I’ve been out of the habit of going to the gym since July of 2018!!! That’s a long time! The good thing is, now that the weather is getting nicer, I’ll be able to start riding my bike to work, which is just over 13km, so that will help!

You will only ever get out of life, what you put into life – and for that to happen is for you to be the action. Be the action, show up for your life, and do the work. No one is going to do it for you – it’s your responsibility and yours alone.

So you decide how bad you want something.

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