Gooooooooaaaaaalllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, we’re not at a soccer game, but I couldn’t think of anything else to call this post and thought this would, at the least, be catchy!

Goals and goal setting. Where do I start? Honestly, I have no idea! In the book, “Girl, stop apologizing” (hey, I did warn you that I’d probably be referring to it as it’s an amazing book!!!) but she talks about the 10-10-1… so, what I am getting from it as she just started touching on it when I got to work and had to stop listening (darn work!), it’s 10 years, 10 dreams, to 1 ultimate goal.

My goal setting skills – and follow through – over the past 12 years has sucked! Yes, I did the bodybuilding and figure competitions, but since then, there’s been very little I’ve accomplished. In fact, everyone might see where I was and where I am and say that I’ve failed… but what you may see as failure, I see as growth – and I’m not talking about my waist line.

All through my 20’s and most of my 30’s, I suffered from eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and substance abuse/dependency. Only in the past couple of years did I come face to face with this behaviour; I had to step back from the gym, I stopped all dieting and drugs. I stopped numbing with drug and alcohol cocktails whenever grief from the death of my dad came up. I had to face all those emotions head on without the crutch of alcohol. With all the shit that’s happened to me – especially the past 6 years – it’s no wonder that the last two years have wreaked havoc on my poor body.

So, my first and most important goal, is to take back my health. My body hasn’t given up on me, so I refuse to give up on my body.

I think part of my problem has been, at 42 (almost 43) I feel like I’ve wasted so much time abusing myself – body, mind, emotions, psyche… I’ve spent so much time hating and punishing myself that I feel like I’ve wasted so much time that I’m trying to make up for it. Why can’t I drop 50 pounds NOW? Why can’t I run 10k NOW? Why can’t by diet be perfect NOW?

Have I mentioned that patience is NOT my forte?

The truth is, I HAVE to learn patience! I WILL fail and stumble and plateau. Life WILL get in the way. I need to make sure that I won’t give up when life tests me. The easy thing would be to give up; make a smaller goal. Shrink in the face of adversity.

Good thing I’m also stubborn!!!

My ultimate goal is that I want to help people – both hands on, distance, possibly even *gasp* a book and/or as a key-note speaker.

However, before I get there, helping others, I first need to help myself. I need to heal myself – and because I know the hardest thing to change IS yourself, only then will I be able to help others with the fore-knowledge of how stinking hard it is to change limiting beliefs, past traumas, and habits.

Here is my goal list:

  • **Take back my health – both physical and physiological health.
  • Run a 10k/half marathon/marathon/triathalon…
  • Continue learning about nutrition, focusing on vegan nutrition.
  • Continue learning and practice an Ayurvedic lifestyle.
  • Continue to deepen my yoga practice, taking more initiative at home. Possibly getting yoga teacher training.
  • Deepen my Reiki practice.
  • Redevelop my meditation practice
  • Develop a guided meditation App
  • Continue developing healthful recipes with beautiful photographs for the possibility of a cookbook in the future.
  • Become a successful artist, creating uplifting, thought provoking, powerful artwork.

ALL of these goals help me towards my ultimate goal: to help others. By continuing to learn and practice myself – by helping myself first – I will be able to help others more in the future. All of these goals are intertwined; they all complement one another and are all essential to my overall health.

So, my first step? Taking my health back. This is where I’ve struggled the most over the decades. When I looked the “best”, I was probably at my most unhealthy. Competing in physique competitions was to prove to myself that I could take control of my body – but the very act of stepping on stage was fighting my body every step of the way. It simply isn’t in my DNA. I’m not meant to be below a certain weight/body fat percentage. Yeah, I did it… but at too high a cost! I sacrificed everything to step on stage. Of course, I’m proud I did it, but I wasn’t equip with the tools to come out of there for the better and in a healthy way. It completely back fired on me and now, coming up to 7 years after my last competition, I’m finally mentally strong enough to undo the damage.

It will take time. It will require patience and diligence. I will have to force myself to do it when it’s the last thing in the world I want to do. I’ll have to go to the gym when I’m tired or sore or completely unmotivated. I LOVE being at the gym, but I’m no longer in the habit of going so initially it WILL be a challenge! And that’s okay!!!

Diet will also play a big role… and, as I’ve said many times before, diet = how and what you choose to consume as daily sustenance NOT restricting macros or calories. The most important thing about your diet is to know your body. Know how you feel when you eat certain foods. Or the quantity. Or time of day. Keep a diet journal and keep accurate details of what, how much and time.

I’m certain of a couple of things:

  • You eat more than you think
  • You’re inconsistent with your eating schedule
  • You don’t drink enough water
  • You’re drinking a lot more calories than you think
  • how you fuel your body directly affects how you think and feel

It is SO important, when you’re taking your health back, to be aware of everything that affects your wellbeing. Everything is so intertwined that everything needs to be addressed. When you ignore one area, you’re doing yourself a disservice. I, unfortunately, learned this the hard way.

So this is where I’m starting:

  • 50lbs overweight (I weigh approx. 210lbs)
  • Binging on sugar laden foods
  • Dietary caused migraines (I’m certain)
  • Issues with my joints (excess weight and maintaining acidic/inflammatory diet)
  • B12 deficient (guess my blood work came back) which would explain the exhaustion and breathlessness.

So, yeah… I got some work ahead of me! But it’s important to know where you’re starting so when you look back, you know how far you’ve come! And you know what else? It doesn’t matter where you are in your life, where your journey is going, and how you’re going to get there – if you don’t have your health, nothing else matters.

OWN your body! OWN your health! It doesn’t matter the cards you’ve been dealt, OWN it! Recovering from cancer? OWN it! Had knee surgery? OWN it! Suffering from depression or anxiety? OWN it! You need to take control of your life because no one else will. Your body, your life, your responsibility!!!

So what is your goal?

How are you going to get there?

And where are you going to start?

And WHEN are you going to start??!

If you don’t know these things, sit down and figure it out – because life can be so much more than existing for 80ish years before dying – but only if YOU want it! And if you want life to be more than just existing, then work for it! Figure it out, then go for it! And if you don’t know where to start, read books, follow podcasts, subscribe to a YouTube channel. Whatever – there’s inspiration everywhere! Find someone who has what you want and figure out what they did to get there – but remember, your path will be different from their path – so take that information as a grain of salt! Ultimately, you need to find a way that’s right for YOU!!!

So go out, grab life by the horns, and make it happen!!! Whatever your “it” may be!!!

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